


Quite Different From What We Were Before

by mayamylove



Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: AU, Enemies to Lovers, F/M, Gentle Romance, Hurt/Comfort, I repeat...very romantic, Infidelity, Love Triangles, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Polyamory, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Romance, Trauma, very romantic
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-12
Updated: 2020-07-22
Packaged: 2021-03-04 04:00:01
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 14,274
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24677302
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mayamylove/pseuds/mayamylove
Summary: In this slightly altered ATLA timeline, Sokka was an illegal prisoner of war for five years after the war ended. Now he's back, and his wife Yue, Chief of the Northern Water Tribe, is torn between him and a new love that sprung in her life after the war.
Relationships: Sokka/Yue (Avatar), Sokka/Zuko (Avatar), Sokka/Zuko/Yue, Yue/Zuko (Avatar)
Comments: 3
Kudos: 27





	1. Prologue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Katara receives a letter.

Katara practically sprinted down the icy palace halls, as fast as her 8-months-pregnant body would let her. Her heart was pounding through her chest and her head was spinning. In her hand, she clutched a letter ever so tightly, as though letting it go would be letting go of the rope tethering her to the living world. She reached the ornate frozen doors she was looking for. The guards on either side of the door reached out to stop her, but Katara pushed past them and burst through the doors into the royal bedroom. 

A half-naked Chief Yue shrieked and whirled around at the sound, holding the clothes with which she was dressing herself over her chest. On another day, Katara might apologize, or even laugh, but today she barely even noticed. She swayed in the doorway, breathing hard and heavy, holding the letter out in front of her. 

“Katara!” Yue cried, turning around and frantically dressing. “If you could please wait outside…”

“It’s Sokka,” Katara breathed, her hands and voice shaking. Yue froze. Slowly, she finished tugging her tunic down over her body. She didn’t turn around. 

“What happened?” she said after a long moment. Katara didn’t see her shut her eyes, bracing herself for what was to come. 

“They found him,” Katara whispered. Her throat tightened and her eyes welled with tears. 

Yue turned around, eyes wide. She opened her mouth, but no sound came out. 

“They found him,” Katara repeated. “He’s coming home.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A few backstory things to know - The timeline of events is a little different.  
> Aang was 16 when the monks told him he was the Avatar, and 17 when he ran away from his Avatar duties (The monks succeeded in separating him from Gyatso and the year before he ran away was difficult.)  
> Katara and Sokka traveled to the Northern Water Tribe on their own when Katara was 15. Northern waterbenders traveled to the Southern Tribe at that time to help rebuild, successfully invading the Fire Navy (as their focus was more on the Earth Kingdom and Ba Sing Se at the time). Katara went home with them, while Sokka stayed in the Northern Tribe, where he fell in love with Yue and fought the Fire Nation there when they attacked a year later.  
> Katara was 18 and Sokka was 19 when they found Aang in the iceberg, during Sokka’s first trip home since their visit to the Northern Tribe.  
> The events that followed are similar to ATLA, with a few differences, namely: Sokka and Yue get married soon after Aang is discovered in the iceberg, the war is longer and leaves the heroes more worn out, and just before Aang finally defeats Ozai, Sokka is either captured or killed (they don’t know) and hasn’t been seen since.  
> Zuko’s redemption also follows the narrative of ATLA. He becomes the new Fire Lord at age 22, and spends the next five years rebuilding his nation and the world with the Avatar.  
> He spends a lot of time traveling between the Fire Nation, the Northern Water Tribe, and the northern Earth Kingdom, while Aang, Katara, and Toph spend more time working in the Southern hemisphere. 
> 
> Let me know what you think, and what you would like to see in this! I have plans for it, but I would love to know what I can include in the sidelines that people might want to see.


	2. Reunion

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sokka comes home.

The Seas of the North looked at once beautiful and terrifying from the top of the Northern Wall. They stretched as far and wide as the eye could see, and the power of the Spirits of the Moon and Ocean was clear in every crash of their waves on the tall shore of glaciers. 

Chief Yue watched these waves now, standing on the wall with Katara, holding her hand tightly. They both looked over the waters at the menacing, metal Fire Navy ship coming closer to the glaciers. Not too long ago, they had stood on this very wall and watched the same ships approach the glaciers, only then, the air had been full of fear and despair. There was an irony, Yue thought wryly, to this now, seeing a Fire Navy ship and feeling hope. Katara was very clearly crying next to her, though her head was still held high and her shoulders were straight, like she was one of these glaciers, strong and immovable. Katara’s face displayed the emotions whirling around in Yue’s heart and mind, but Yue kept her expression serene, a reflection of her many years of nobility and leadership training.  _ Stay strong for your people _ , she was always taught,  _ and keep your own perils private. _ But, she couldn’t help thinking, as Katara so plainly wore her heart on her sleeve while simultaneously displaying great strength, how true could this advice have been? 

The ship arrived at the shore, and the waterbender Guards of the Wall allowed it entry. The two women watched it pass through under them and come out the other side. Katara squeezed Yue’s hand, leading the latter to look away from the ship and at her sister-in-law. 

Wiping the still streaming tears from her face with her free hand, Katara said, “Are you ready?”

There was no good way to answer that question. Was she happy and relieved that Sokka had come home? Yes. Had she spent every living moment of every day missing him, tortured over not knowing what had happened to him, hoping and praying for his safe return?  _ Absolutely. _ But was she ready to see him again?

It had been five years. The woman who had lost her husband to a hundred-year-war was not the woman who stood on the Northern Wall today. Who was to say the man who was soon to emerge from that ship was the same man she had married? Was she ready to meet him? Was she ready to hear what they had done to him, when he had been a prisoner of war for five years? 

Katara squeezed her hand again, bringing her back to the present moment, and, her voice heavy with empathy, said, “I know.” And with the look in her eyes, Yue knew she and Katara were united. 

Together, they made their way down to the bottom of the Wall where the ship had docked. The Fire Navy sailors and officers worked alongside the Northern Tribe waterbenders to dock the ship. Even five years after the war, the sight of red and blue working together filled Yue with pride. Of course, there were countless problems to work on when it came to nation-to-nation peace. Too many war crimes the Fire Nation was still paying for, too many corrupt systems put in place over the course of one hundred years, too much propaganda to unlearn within the walls of the Fire Nation. Yue and Fire Lord Zuko worked closely together on healing the world in the aftermath of the war. Once a year, Zuko spent three months in the Northern Tribe to work with her daily, and once a year, Yue traveled to the Fire Nation to do the same. The hours of hard work, the sweat and tears that went into every treaty and every new law, the meetings and visits she had had with politicians, schoolteachers, families, and Fire Nation citizens of all kinds, paid off when she saw things like this - A Northern waterbender calling out instructions to the Fire Navy captain, and the captain following. 

Yue and Katara stopped at the foot of the ramp that led up into the darkness of the ship and the darkness and uncertainty of the very near future. 

A loud roar sounded above them; they looked up to see Appa flying high in the air. He circled once, then twice, and took a dive towards the women. As he flew closer, Yue saw Aang sitting in his saddle, with a sick-looking Toph clutching him for dear life. They landed and dismounted, Toph retched into the water with a mumbled, “I forgot how horrible that was,” and came to stand by Yue and Katara. 

Yue watched as Aang embraced his wife, and Katara seemed to let out a bit of the breath she was holding. With a worry like a knife in her gut, Yue turned back to face the ship. Would she feel the same way upon seeing Sokka again? 

“Chief Yue.” Aang nodded at her. 

Her heart was twisting in a thousand knots, but ever the diplomatic chief, she smiled at the Avatar. “I’ve told you a thousand times, Avatar Aang, please call me Yue.”

“Only when you call me Aang,” he quipped back. 

Their banter, though playful as always, was tainted today with the emotions of the moment. 

“Ready, princesses?” said Toph, standing square and tough, as though readying for battle. In a way, Yue supposed, they were. “And yes, I’m talking to all of you,” she added pointedly towards Aang, who would have laughed on an ordinary day, but today only smiled. 

Katara clucked her tongue. “What is taking so long? My pregnancy has been quicker than this.”

Aang rubbed her back. “He’s not...healthy, they said.” His voice was tight, low. Yue’s heart broke. 

The image of Sokka, her Sokka, the strongest and smartest warrior in the world, the sweetest husband she could have asked for, being hurt and tortured by rogue Fire Nation nationalists burned itself into her mind. She swallowed hard and looked up at the sky to hold her emotions in. Above them, in one of the Wall’s guard towers, she spotted Zuko, watching from a distance. Their eyes met. 

A loud crash from inside the ship startled all of them.

“Help him up!” someone shouted. Katara gasped and held onto Aang. Yue clasped her hands together tightly, digging her nails into her skin to keep from screaming. 

“Come on, Sokka,” Toph murmured, probably talking to herself. 

And then, finally,  _ finally _ , two men dressed in red Fire Navy uniforms emerged, and between them, leaning heavily on the sailors--

Two tears fell from Yue’s eyes. 

Katara cried out and lurched forward, but Aang yanked her back by the arm. “Take it easy,” he said quietly. Even Toph looked a little unsteady, and if Yue had looked up again, she would have noticed Zuko had averted his gaze. 

The sailors led a limping, thin, haggard Sokka down the ramp. He was dressed in a thick red cloak, which was likely all the Fire Nation could have clothed him in, and as he got closer, the bruising on his face became visible. He had a nasty cut on his lip, a black eye and a bruised cheekbone, and what looked like a broken nose. Yue’s gaze traveled down his body, imagining the worst of what he might look like under the clothes. 

Sokka stumbled, and the sailors gripped him more tightly. Despite his obvious injuries, he seemed fairly alert. His head was straight and his eyes were clear, staring at them--his  _ family _ \--as they waited for him. He stared at each of them for a long time, as if memorizing them, and they waited in silence. They had been counseled to let him take his time to readjust, but with every passing second, Yue could hardly bear to stay silent. At last, Sokka settled his stare on Katara. He let out a hard breath, then nodded at her. 

With a sob, Katara scrambled out of Aang’s grasp and towards her brother, wrapping her arms around him, perhaps not as gently as she should have, judging by Sokka’s wince. 

“Hi, baby sister,” he whispered hoarsely. The sound of his voice made Yue’s heart leap into her throat. 

“Sokka!” Katara cried, holding him hard. 

Sokka hugged her back as best he could with her pregnant belly in the way. He touched the bump carefully. The sailors on either side of him still supported him. 

“Who’s this?” he asked. 

Katara gave a watery laugh. “You’ll meet her soon, Uncle Sokka.”

He looked shocked and overjoyed, and Yue smiled a little. They had been advised to keep little Bumi away from this first meeting, and from the look of Sokka, it was clear why.

From Katara’s arms, he looked up at the rest of them, and smiled. Aang and Toph approached him and joined the hug, full of tears and murmured, heavy greetings. Yue watched as the friends held each other; she knew what they had all been through together in their war travels. She looked up now at Zuko, whom she knew had traveled with them as well, who belonged in this group hug just as much, but was keeping his distance. This time, Zuko didn’t look at her, rather keeping his eyes trained far on the horizon. 

The friends parted at last, and Sokka turned to his wife. Yue wanted to run to him as Katara had, she wanted to touch him, hold him, but her feet remained rooted to the ground where she stood. Her breathing came shaky, and the emotion threatened to overtake her. Something in Sokka’s face changed, and he looked at the sailors and nodded. They helped him forward, towards her. 

Yue’s heart very nearly burst. Even after everything he had undoubtedly been through, Sokka still knew her, and he knew how to take care of her when she needed it. Guilt and shame spread through her nerves, all the way up and down her body to her core. She wanted badly to look away, at anything other than him, but she stayed strong and kept her eyes trained on him, if only to prove that he had married her for a reason. 

He stopped in front of her, removed one arm from around the sailor’s shoulders, and reached out his hand. Yue stared down at it for a moment, then, terrified, took it in her own. She looked up at Sokka, who smiled down at her. 

“Hi,” he whispered. 

“Hi,” she whispered back. She felt everyone’s eyes on them, and surely, Sokka felt it too. He’d never had a problem with displaying his affection or their romance publicly, but he knew Yue found it uncomfortable, awkward, and improper. So if he wanted to do anything more than this, he didn’t. 

\---

Sokka was taken to the healing hut after the reunion, where they had pronounced him dangerously underweight, with six broken ribs, and signs of internal hemorrhaging due to trauma. 

“So basically,” Toph had said bitingly, “They beat the shit out of him until everything broke.” 

“Yes,” the healer had said. “It’s possible that he healed on his own, but it’s more likely that they healed him before, well--”

“Getting started on him again,” Toph had finished, and the healer had nodded regretfully. 

Still weak, he’d passed out soon after being laid down on one of the cots, and the healers had advised that he spend the night (or possibly, the next few nights) there to be monitored in case of emergency. Yue did not leave his side until very late, when the chief healer found her nodding off in her chair. 

“Chief Yue,” she’d said, gently prodding her awake, “you should go back to your rooms. We can take it from here.” 

She hadn’t wanted to, but Katara was asleep in the healer rooms only a few feet away from Sokka’s bed, and she would summon her immediately if something were to happen. And unfortunately, work always called. So, very gracefully, Yue had thanked the healer and took her leave, casting one last glance at Sokka before heading back to the palace. 

On the walk back, she tried to refocus on the tasks at hand--they had meetings with Earth Kingdom politicians who were arriving tomorrow morning, their environmental department was struggling with a bacterial disease affecting the sealife, and she had to address her people soon regarding the never-ending peace talks with the Fire Nation.  _ It takes time to heal from a hundred-year war _ , she reminded herself, but it didn’t do much to ease her frustration. 

No matter how much she tried to think about this important, time-sensitive work, her thoughts kept drifting to her husband, lying in the infirmary, healing from near-fatal injuries that he’d been suffering for the past  _ five years _ . Now, alone in the halls of the palace, the tears finally came. She moved faster, practically running, covering her mouth with her hand to stifle the breaking sobs that erupted from her body, completely out of her control. She made it to her bedroom and hurried inside, shutting and locking the door behind her, before sinking to the floor and drowning in her own tears. 

“Yue?”

She whipped  _ very _ ungracefully--there was no graceful way to spin around from a haphazard seat on the floor--to see Fire Lord Zuko standing by the window in her room, staring at her with an alarmed look on his face. 

Yue’s shoulders slumped and she leaned back against the door, completely drained. Tears streamed freely down her face. 

“Hey,” said Zuko, quickly moving towards her and helping her to her feet. “It’s okay.”

“It’s not!” she cried, gripping his arm tightly. “You weren’t there!” Zuko winced at the venomous words, but Yue pressed on, “Did you see him? Did you see what they did to him?”

“I read the reports--”

“It’s not the same,” she insisted, and Zuko nodded. 

“It’s not, but Yue--”

“You should’ve been there,” she accused. “You’re his friend--you’re his  _ family _ just as much as the rest of us.”

“You know why I wasn’t!” he snapped. 

And there it was. She did know why he had kept his distance, and it was the same reason she had felt guilty when Sokka displayed compassion and empathy towards her, even after being a prisoner of war for five years. It was the same reason that Zuko was here, in her bedroom, late in the night. The deep secret that never left the four walls of the bedroom. 

Everyone had said Sokka was dead. Though Yue had never quite let go of the possibility that he was alive, out there, somewhere, no one else shared her hopes, especially after every effort to find him, including bringing in a shirshu, had proved fruitless. 

The past five years, her time spent with Zuko hadn’t been much in terms of quantity, but in terms of quality...When everyone on her council engaged with her by the book and followed procedure to the t, Zuko had challenged her from day one. His fiery (pun intended) nature, his short temper, his overly dramatic reactions to the smallest things, and his unorthodox solutions to problems made him one of the most interesting people in her life. As they got to know each other, as they became friends, the kindness and compassion that lurked under the surface spilled out and made itself into a support pillar for her. He was there for her through her toughest nights, and there for her to share her triumphs and joys, and she for him. 

A year into their professional relationship, they had just successfully closed their fifth peace treaty, and during a private celebration, she had hugged him. At the sight of the smile on his face,  _ butterflies _ had erupted in her stomach, and she’d known then that she was done for. She was certain she loved Zuko, was in love with him, and knew he felt the same way. But her duty was to her people, and so this secret they had kept for five years could never see the light of day. 

And now here they were, with Yue’s husband lying, nearly dead, in a bed a few hundred feet from where Zuko held her against his body, with shame pulsing through her heart, and with fear at what the next day would bring. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! 
> 
> I was really surprised to find myself writing this, because as a viewer I have so much closure regarding Yue's character. But from reading fic I found that she was so interesting to me and I wanted to explore her a little.


	3. Barely Breathing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everyone struggles to adjust to a new normal. On the horizon, trouble brews.

The morning's golden sunrise woke her up, and she rolled over in bed to find Zuko sitting cross-legged before the window, evidently meditating. The sight brought a sleepy smile to her lips--and then memories of the day before came crashing down on her like the waves of the Northern Seas. She sat up a little too suddenly and jolted Zuko out of his meditation. He glanced over at her. 

"You're awake," he said. 

"You're still here," she said, panicking. "What are you still doing here?" 

Zuko looked startled and a little hurt. "Do you want me to leave?"

"Yes!" she cried. "If anyone catches us…"

"No one will catch us. I've stayed plenty of mornings before. You're just acting up because you feel guilty now that…" He trailed off, looking away. 

"Now that what?" she demanded. "Say it."

"I don't want to--"

"Just say what you mean!" she snapped. 

"Now that you remembered you're married!" 

His words hung in the air between them. Yue seethed with anger at his completely _unfounded_ accusation. 

"How _dare_ you?" she hissed. Zuko flinched. Good. "Every single moment with you, every decision I've made with you has been with him in mind."

That looked like it stung, and Yue wasn't taking it back. Although she was furious now, one of the things she loved about her relationship with Zuko was how brutally honest they could be with each other. With Zuko, there was no need for niceties or tiptoeing around each other's feelings. He just did not operate that way, and Yue had come to find their relationship a sanctuary where she could speak her mind completely and truthfully. She had been so young when she'd married Sokka, and she hadn't been mature enough to know how much she needed this. And though having it with Zuko was a privilege, what Yue needed always came second to her people, which is why she said what she said next. 

"We can't see each other anymore." 

The silence was deafening. Slowly, Zuko got to his feet. 

"What?" he said, so softly that Yue deflated. 

"I'm sorry," she said gently, and she was. Hurting Zuko caused her pain and regret, but they both knew it was inevitable. Their relationship-- _affair_ , she corrected herself with a pang of shame--would have caused enough scandal to inspire a coup in the Fire Nation and the Northern Water Tribe. 

"Yue…" Zuko opened and closed his mouth like he was struggling to find the words, but there were no words. She watched as the realization set in his face: This was it. It had to be. He met her eyes. "I'm sorry, too," he said. His voice broke on the last word, and so did Yue's heart. 

\---

She went through the motions of her day as Chief Yue of the Northern Water Tribe. For Yue, not a single day at work went to waste--she made a point to earn the high esteem in which her people held her. Still, though she made every day productive, her days were far from easy, and today, thoughts of Sokka screamed in the back of her mind with every meeting, every conversation, every breath. It was with great relief that at high noon, Yue finally made her way to the healing hut to find her husband awake in his bed with Katara and Toph at his bedside. 

"...and then it went, 'BOOM!'" Toph was saying. "Seriously. Like, the biggest, _coolest_ explosion I've ever felt with my own two feet."

"Whoa," said Sokka, wide-eyed. 

Katara rolled her eyes. "You two are so predictable." 

Sokka laughed, which turned into a coughing fit. Katara stood quickly, and Yue rushed in from her vantage point in the doorway. 

"Sokka?" she called to him, anxious. She glanced at Katara, who was bending water to fill her hands before placing them over her brother's chest. The water glowed white. 

The coughing subsided, and Sokka's still worn-out face lit up as much as it could upon seeing her. "Hey," he said weakly. 

Yue managed a smile and touched his shoulder. Sokka looked at his other two visitors. "Mind giving us some privacy? I haven't seen my wife in five years." Yue and Katara grimaced at that, but Toph let out an impish laugh. 

"You got it, Snoozles," she said suggestively, making Sokka laugh and Yue blush.

They left the room, leaving Yue alone with Sokka and her nerves. She sat in Katara's now empty chair and took Sokka's hand, lacing their fingers together, rubbing her thumb back and forth over the back of his hand. It was oddly like skating on ice; she felt rusty, unpracticed, but the movement was familiar, like her body had trained itself to do it. 

Sokka was staring at their hands locked together. "So," he said, looking up at her again. "Chief Yue, huh?" 

She blushed for the second time and nodded. "My father officially stepped down two years ago. I've been performing the roles since the end of the war, though." _Since we lost you._

"What was it like? The ceremony?" he asked, eyes wide with wonder and…something else. 

"Like any other chief appointment ceremony. We did it in the palace courtyard, the one that faces town, you remember?" She fondly remembered that day. Her Tribe was everything to her. To have the honor of being appointed chief, of standing up and swearing before all her people to always protect them and their best interests, to always ensure their safety and happiness, was one of the single greatest achievements of her life. "Everyone came. I spoke. We had puffin-seal," she said because she knew he'd want to hear about it, "and stewed sea prunes." 

The look in his eyes grew stronger, and Yue found herself flushing under the intensity of it. “What else?” he said. “What did you say in your speech? What’d you wear?”

She told him the story of the day she became Chief of the Northern Water Tribe in as much rich detail as she could, and as he soaked in each and every word, Yue was able to place the look in his eyes as _pride_. He was _proud_ of her. The realization hit her hard, and she wondered when she would stop being shocked by everything Sokka did. Not soon, she knew, as his very living, breathing existence inspired shock on its own. 

"It sounds...so special." He squeezed her hand. "I'm sorry I wasn't there."

"What? Sokka," she scrambled to reassure him, "please don't apologize. You were…"

"Being tortured by Ozai loyalists?" he said, cocking an eyebrow. 

Yue winced. "Please don't apologize," she repeated. 

"I know, Yue," he said. He brushed his thumb over the back of her hand and pursed his lips as if thinking hard. Yue remembered this face, she realized. _Sokka's thinking face_ , she thought, and she felt a rush of affection for him. 

He continued, "It's just a day I would have wanted to share with you."

Guilt crept up the back of her neck--she remembered who had shared that day with her. She pushed the thought aside. “We’ll have many days to share now,” she promised, earning a smile from him. “As soon as you can get out of this bed. What have the healers said?”

“They said I can go home tonight,” he said cheerfully, and Yue’s heart fluttered from both joy and anxiety. “But that I shouldn’t walk on my own for a few weeks. They’re building me a wheelchair. And putting me on a special diet to gain weight.” He rolled his eyes. “I just want to get back to normal already.” 

“You shouldn’t rush your healing process, Sokka,” said Yue. 

Sokka waved her worry away. “I’ll be fine. I’m Sokka of the Southern Water Tribe! I should be up and out there, traveling the world, fighting rogues, hunting treasure! Instead, I’m in this stupid bed, doing a gazillion stupid healing sessions every day, and getting stupid advice to 'stay off my feet' and 'not exert myself.'”

Yue giggled. “Since when are you a treasure-hunter?” she teased. 

“Gotta find the most precious treasures for my queen, don’t I?” he said playfully. “Make up for lost time.”

Yue was surprised to find herself blushing. She’d forgotten this--the flirty banter, the sweet compliments, the way in which he doted on her. "There's no treasure like having you back," she whispered, barely keeping her voice from breaking. 

The tenderness was clear in Sokka's eyes, but his grin carried with it a familiar mischief. "You sure? They say there are caverns in the Si Wong desert full of priceless gems and gold. I bet if you saw those, you'd reconsider." 

She laughed, feeling some of the weight on her shoulders lift, even if temporarily. "You know," she said, "I just might."

Sokka played along, pretending to look scandalized. "Princess Yue!" he said, throwing a hand over his heart dramatically. "You wound me."

"It's _Chief_ Yue now," she teased. 

At that, the smile that broke over Sokka's face had no trace of funny business--just pure, unadulterated joy. "Yes," he said, squeezing her hand. "It is." 

\---

He woke up screaming. 

Yue shot up in bed to find Sokka sitting up next to her, shaking, with tears streaming down his face. A bone-chilling fear gripped her. They had warned her about this, but to see it in person...

"Sokka? Sokka!" She grabbed his shoulders and shook him, but he only seized up worse and wrenched himself out of her grasp. 

He stumbled out of the bed and seemed to be making his way to the door, only to collapse on the floor. Feeling utterly helpless and useless, Yue scrambled to his side and knelt by him. 

"Sokka," she whispered, reaching out, but afraid to touch him, afraid he'd react badly again. 

His eyes were wild, bloodshot, and beads of sweat clung to his skin. His mouth opened and closed, strained sounds coming from his throat. He was trying to say something. 

"Sokka, it's me," she tried again, taking his hand gingerly. 

Footsteps thundered down the hall. The bedroom door slammed open and in the doorway stood Katara, fists of water raised and ready for a fight. Yue looked up, desperate. 

"Help him," she begged. 

Katara took in the sight before her and, quickly and smoothly, knelt over her brother and lowered her palms to the sides of his head. The water around her hands glowed, and gradually, Sokka's breathing evened out. 

The women met each other's eyes--Katara's sad and understanding, Yue's scared and upset. 

"Thank you, Katara. I don't know what I would have done without you," she said truthfully. Some Chief she was, unable to even take care of her husband's night terrors. 

"What happened?" said Katara, removing her hands from Sokka's head and bending the water back into its pouch. 

Sokka stirred a little on the floor, looking up at them, bleary-eyed. "I...I'm," he tried to say, but his voice sounded hoarse and tired. 

Gently, Yue scooted closer and touched his chest. "Shh," she said. "It's okay. Just rest."

Clearly exhausted, Sokka nodded, his eyes drifting shut. 

Looking up at Katara, Yue answered her, "He woke up like this. Screaming and shaking. It was like he couldn't hear me--like he was somewhere else."

Katara nodded thoughtfully. "Like how they said it might happen." 

"I'm…sorry," Sokka finally managed to say. Both women looked at him. 

"What? Don't be sorry, Sokka," said Katara indignantly. "You didn't do anything wrong." 

"We should get you back to bed," said Yue. Uncertainly, Katara glanced at her.

"Do you want to talk about it?" she asked Sokka. 

_Of course_ , Yue thought to herself, _how could I have forgotten that?_

But Sokka shook his head and turned to Yue with a weak smile. "Mm, bed. Bed sounds niiice."

Yue and Katara exchanged a look that was at once full of affection for Sokka and worry for his health. As though handling a very fragile and valuable ice bauble, Yue helped her husband to his feet. It was jarring to feel him lean his weight on her; throughout their relationship and marriage, he had always stood firmly on his own feet. 

Hesitating, Katara rose to her feet as well. “Do you need anything?”

 _Yes. Please stay and help me._ Yue shook her head, guiding Sokka to the bed. “Thanks for coming,” she said again. Katara nodded, still looking worried, and left the room, closing the door behind her. 

Carefully, though more out of fear than out of love, Yue set Sokka down on the bed and sat next to him. He took her hand right away and rested his head on her shoulder.   
“Can you--?” His voice caught and he cleared his throat. 

“Yes?” she prompted him softly. 

It took a moment for Sokka to say, “Can you hold me?”

The request hung in the air. Shockingly, Yue could not recall a single instance when she had held a man in her arms; she was a bit of a traditional woman in that sense. But looking into Sokka’s scared blue eyes, she had no choice but to shelve her insecurities and nerves that she wouldn’t know what to do. Yue nodded, and they tucked themselves under the covers. 

Awkwardly, Yue turned on her side and put an arm around her husband. The breath that left Sokka was one of true relief--all the anxiety seemed to leave each and every cell of his body as he turned to face away from her and scooched into her arms, fitting like--well, like a spoon. His body in her arms felt...new. The muscles of his chest under her hand, the feel of his body rising and falling with his breath, his thin, once-muscular back against her chest, none of it felt like the man she had married and once known. And even though she unmistakably loved and cared for him, she couldn’t help the feeling that there was something wrong about this. 

Sokka dozed off in her arms, but Yue lied awake into the dead of the night, thinking, pondering the future and the uncertainty it held. 

\---

_*CRASH!*_

The wooden trunk shattered against the icy wall of Zuko’s room. It wasn’t the first thing he had thrown, and it probably wouldn’t be the last. His fists were aflame, steam very nearly coming out of his ears. He hadn’t seen Yue for three days since she broke up with him, and he was ready to explode. 

_Why is everything made of ICE?!_ Even his internal voice seemed to be yelling. _How could she do this?!_

He threw himself into his desk chair and flailed out dramatically, brooding over the paperwork on his desk. The fact that he had to be here for another _month_ just to keep peace between his nation and this god-forsaken icicle…

“Should just burn the treaty,” he muttered to himself, grabbing a pen to start scribbling notes. Of course, he wasn’t going to do anything drastic. His emotions were definitely off the scale, but over the past five years, Zuko had learned to keep his dramatic side separate from his work, thanks to his good friendship with the Avatar, and (though he wouldn’t admit it now) thanks to Yue. Rational as ever, Chief Yue had never failed to keep her head through every meeting he had attended with her, no matter what insults were being hurled in her direction, no matter how unreasonable a demand from a politician was. She was calculating, careful, and diplomatic, almost scarily so, and working with her so closely had taught Zuko how to step back and assess a situation to achieve the best possible results. 

But she hadn’t just rubbed off on him--they had rubbed off on _each other_. Like Zuko had learned to take a deep breath and count backwards from ten, Yue had learned to spit fire (not literally, Zuko thanked the spirits), and snap nasty, angry retorts like anyone’s business. And although it made them butt heads more often in their personal lives, it had made them an even stronger team professionally. And it had probably been the reason she’d been able to throw him out of her bedroom as easily as she had, Zuko thought bitterly. 

“Wish I’d never met you,” he mumbled over his papers. 

It had been his mistake. He was the one who hadn’t been able to take his eyes off her at their first Winter Solstice celebration, he was the one who had asked to spend more time with her two years ago, and he was the one who had knocked on her bedroom door in the middle of the night and kissed her when she had opened it. 

_But she kissed back_ , he argued with himself. _She wanted it just as much._

Even so, as much as he wanted it to be any other way than the way it was, he’d always known this would happen. Sokka’s rescue only accelerated the inevitable; there had never been and would never be a future for the Fire Lord and the Chief of the Northern Water Tribe. He shut his eyes tightly to force the tears away. 

“No,” he grumbled. “Not crying over you.” 

BANG, BANG, BANG!

Zuko whirled around. Someone was pounding on his door. 

“Zuko!” Katara’s voice came from the other side. “Zuko, open up!”

He hastened to the door and pulled it open. Katara nearly fell over in her hurry to get inside. Zuko caught her and steadied her, alarmed by how frazzled she looked. 

“What’s going on?” he said. 

She thrust a letter into his hand. “We heard from Aang,” she said. “It’s the Ozai loyalists. The ones who were holding Sokka prisoner. We have a problem.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading!
> 
> Yue's headspace is fun and interesting, but she doesn't quite see her flaws like others do, so it was fun to move into Zuko's head at the end of this. 
> 
> I will be jumping across all perspectives in this one! Sokka's mindset is coming soon!


	4. With Determination

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A little insight into Sokka's perspective.

"Hurry up!" Zuko shouted. "How much slower can you go?" 

"Maybe if  _ you _ had just been where you were  _ supposed _ to be instead of having tantrum number eight hundred and seven in your room, I would have found you earlier, and we would already  _ be _ on our way!" Katara yelled back, trailing only a few feet behind Zuko as they ran towards the Northern Gate, where Appa was waiting in the water. 

"Come on, guys," said Aang, with the air of a person who had said these words more times than he could count. "This is no time to yell at each other."

Still grumbling, Zuko and Katara climbed onto Appa (Katara needed a little airbending boost due to her pregnant belly), and Zuko moved to steer. 

"Yip, yip!" said Zuko, and Appa took off. 

They were several feet in the air when they heard a voice yelling from the ground. 

"WAIT!!"

All three of them whipped their heads around to see Sokka, leaning heavily on a healer, Yue hot on his heels, limping towards the Gate. 

"What is he doing?!" Katara cried. 

Sokka's body ached with every step, but he gripped his healer firmly with one hand and raised the other up to hail his friends. He had heard just in time that the Ozai loyalists --  _ his captors _ \-- had occupied a Fire Nation town in the Eastern islands, terrorizing the townspeople and standing guard at every entryway into town. Against his healers' advice, Sokka had insisted that he accompany his friends back to the Fire Nation to help. Only when he attempted to storm out on his own did the healers finally cave in and help him on his way. 

"Sokka, please stay home," Yue said, almost frantically.

"I can't, Yue. I'm sorry." He meant it. To say it was unfair was an understatement. That he was being put in this position, that after only just returning to his wife from a five-years-long absence during which she'd thought he was dead, he was being forced to leave her behind and enter another dangerous, potentially life-threatening environment made his blood boil. But he had to. 

They watched Appa land, and Sokka turned to Yue. He let go of the healer and, with as much strength as he could muster, stepped forward towards his wife and hugged her. Yue hugged back tightly, clinging to him. Sokka's heart felt constricted, but it was unwavering. He pulled away from her, his friends helped him onto Appa, and he watched her become tinier and tinier as they flew higher and farther away from the North Pole. 

Finally, when she disappeared from his sight, Sokka took a deep breath, sat back on Appa's saddle, and looked out at the horizon. The air was cold, quiet, the wind whipped across his face. For a few moments, Sokka basked in the peace of being on Appa's back, soaring over the ocean. 

He could feel Aang's and Katara's eyes on him, though, and when he could no longer stand it, he turned to them defiantly and said, "What's the matter?" 

"What's the matter with  _ you _ ?" Katara shot back. "You can barely walk!" 

" _ You _ can barely walk," said Sokka, gesturing to her baby bump. 

Katara opened her mouth, most definitely to screech at him, but Aang surprised Sokka by cutting in. 

"You're not here to get revenge, are you?" he asked patiently. 

Sokka shook his head. "It's not like that," he insisted, only partly truthful. "I just can't sit on the sidelines while you…"

"Stop them," Aang finished his thought for him, and Sokka nodded. 

"I need to be there," Sokka said, looking out at the ocean. The mere thought of facing his captors, of seeing them brought to justice before his eyes, maybe even helping to bring them to justice gave Sokka a tiny taste of what everyone knew would be a hard-earned closure. 

Aang seemed to understand, as he took Katara's hand and murmured, "It's ok." 

Though she looked like she wanted to argue, Katara scooted closer to Sokka. 

"You know we're not letting you fight anybody, right?" she said, scooting closer to him so that he could lean on her. 

"What are you doing?" he said, pulling away. 

"Supporting you."

"I'm not leaning on a pregnant woman!" 

"I'm not letting a man with his ribs sticking out hold his own weight!" 

"How come you get to fight? You'll fall over." 

With an amused look, Aang piped up, "You haven't seen her fight recently, Sokka. Katara packs a punch." 

"Yeah!" said Katara smugly. "I pack a punch." 

"I'll get mine back," Sokka grumbled, giving in and leaning his weight on her. 

If the trio weren't so involved in their banter, they might have noticed Zuko's silence and stricken expression. 

\---

When they landed in a Fire Nation field, seemingly in the middle of nowhere, night had fallen. Zuko, Aang, and Katara jumped down and started moving, practically in their fighting stances already. Sokka poked his head over the rim of Appa’s saddle, watching them in utter shock. 

“Wait,” he said. “What are you doing?” 

“We got word that the loyalists are in the town up ahead,” Aang replied. “You should wait here, Sokka.” 

“ _ Wait _ ,” Sokka repeated, insistent. “This is your plan? Just go in and bash some heads?” 

They all turned and looked at him with identical confused looks on their faces. Sokka rolled his eyes. How had they survived this long without him? 

“Get back up here,” he said. “We need to strategize before you go in there and get someone hurt.” 

“Sokka, the priority is getting the townspeople safe as soon as possible,” Katara argued. “We need to--”

“Well, it’s not possible tonight. You’ll get yourselves killed. We need a plan, and we probably need an army,” he said seriously. He knew firsthand what the loyalists were capable of, and the thought of sending his family into their territory unprepared...he shuddered. “Get back. Up here.” 

They hesitated. Aang was the first to drop his fighting stance. “Sokka’s right,” he said. 

“But--” Katara started, but Aang shook his head. 

“Our job is to make the town safe. Not attack the loyalists.”

Even in the darkness and from Sokka’s high vantage point, he could see Katara’s childish pout. It almost made him smile. He’d  _ missed _ her--her insistence that she was always right, how she was always itching to fight someone, and how she loved harder than anyone he would ever know. Deep down, Sokka knew that no matter how much Katara claimed she wanted to rush into that town to save its people, she was really here for him, to see that his captors paid for what they’d done to him. 

“Fine,” Katara grumbled, and they got back on Appa to fly to the Fire Palace. 

As they flew over the sleeping country, Sokka found himself surprised by his own calm. He had been apprehensive about returning to this place so soon, worried that the sensory experience might trigger this “panic episode” that the Water Tribe healers had warned him about. But the journey through the sky filled him with a sense of peace and freedom like he hadn’t felt for far, far too long. Sokka closed his eyes and let the warm Fire Nation breeze hug his skin, let the smells of summer foliage and hints of smoke entrance him all the way to the palace. 

Inside the palace, it was a different story. Reds popped out at him from every surface, torches burned along every wall, and though the paintings of the old Fire Lords had been removed, Sokka could imagine them too easily, hanging in ornate frames in all their glory. He swallowed the bile rising of its own accord in his throat and focused on his friends’ faces. 

“So!” he said, perhaps a little too jovially. “Zuko! You’ve been quiet. I feel like I haven’t seen you for...five years. What’s up? How you been?”

Zuko seemed to stiffen; Aang and Katara cast odd looks at Sokka. 

“What do you mean?” said Katara. “Zuko’s been visiting you, right?” 

“Uh…” said Sokka, scratching his head. The week since his return had been a blur, but he was sure he would have remembered Zuko visiting. “Nope.” 

“Sorry,” said Zuko shortly. “It’s been busy.” 

“Sure, sure,” said Sokka. It probably had been busy, and they had only kind-of been friends when the war ended, but Sokka couldn’t help feeling a little spurned that Zuko hadn’t even dropped by to say hello. “Well, you were there to welcome me when the ship got there, so. No problem.”

“No,” Katara said slowly. “He wasn’t.” 

“Like I said, I’m sorry. Anyway, we’re here.” Zuko stopped in front of a set of enormous, red-and-gold double doors, and pushed them open to enter a huge room with red walls and curtains-- _ The War Room _ , Sokka realized. 

Flashing lights overwhelmed Sokka's sight, and the sounds of a beating drum pierced his ears. He shut his eyes tight and swallowed hard. 

"Sokka?" Right away, Katara was by his side. "Are you all right?" 

"Fine," he forced out. "I'm fine." 

"This exactly why I wanted to go into that town and--and--"

"Bash their heads in?" Zuko finished helpfully. 

"Yes!" 

Sokka shook his head. "I'm fine," he lied. But the image of his cell walls--red and gold--closed in on him, he felt the cold chains on his wrists, his mouth went completely dry, his vision went black, and then--

Cool air gently brushed his skin. The sounds of crickets chirping and leaves rustling filled the air. Sokka opened his eyes. 

He was sitting on a chair on an extravagant palace balcony overlooking the city. Blinking, he looked around, and his eyes landed on Zuko, who was occupying the seat next to his. 

"What... I…" said Sokka groggily. 

"You panicked, or something," said Zuko, answering the unfinished question. "You've been out for half an hour. Aang and Katara are looking for some super-crystal-clear healing water kind of thing. She  _ swears _ she packed it." 

Even in Sokka's muddled headspace, he could sense Zuko's reluctance to be there. He sat up a little and rubbed the blurriness out of his eyes. 

"You okay?" he asked. 

Zuko shot him a sideways look. "Shouldn't I be asking you that?"

"Probably, but you didn't."

At that, Zuko looked away. Sokka decided not to press him. They sat in silence for a few moments. 

"I didn't know if you wanted me to visit you," said Zuko quietly. 

"Pfft, that's a stupid excuse." 

"Excuse me?" 

"I spent the last five years not knowing if I was gonna live or die, not knowing if I would see any of you again, and you  _ didn't know _ if I wanted you to visit me? Even you're not that dumb." Sokka rolled his eyes. He knew he was lashing out a little, but he wasn't about to apologize when Zuko was in the wrong. 

"I'm sorry," said Zuko, with such grace that Sokka found himself surprised by how well the once-awkward Fire Prince had adopted royal mannerisms over the last five years. But Sokka had a knack for seeing to the root of a situation, and he would bet that the royal behavior only came out when Zuko was masking his true feelings. 

Following his hunch, Sokka pushed, "What's the problem?" 

"I just…" Zuko seemed to be struggling to find words. Sokka waited impatiently. "I was worried that seeing me might remind you…" 

"That I was captured and tortured by Fire Nation loyalists for five years?"

Zuko grimaced. Sokka grinned, but he pondered the words. Would he really have been disturbed upon seeing Zuko, in all his Fire Nation glory? He couldn't say, but it was undeniably considerate that Zuko had chosen to stay away for that reason. Even now, Sokka could see the guilt on Zuko's face. 

"It wasn't your fault, Zuko. They were Ozai loyalists," said Sokka. 

"It was happening here, in my country, and I didn't know about it," said Zuko. "So yes, it was my fault, actually." 

Sokka opened his mouth to argue (for no reason, really, he just liked to argue), but Katara and Aang returned just then, ending the conversation. 

"I couldn't find it!" Katara said, clearly dismayed. "Sokka, you need to stay here. If we don't have the water, it's too risky."

He nodded, and didn't miss everyone's surprised reaction to his acquiescence. "What?" he said. "I'm a warrior and a strategist. I know what's a good move and a bad move." 

Katara looked relieved, and Aang smiled. "Told you he'd get it." 

Sokka rolled his eyes. "So can we plan our attack?" 

\---

As much as he knew it was the best option, Sokka hated sitting around and waiting for news of the fight. He’d considered at the very least tagging along and waiting near the town, but he couldn’t risk endangering his family with his unstable state just for his own satisfaction. 

So he waited. He waited by the window in his Fire Palace bedroom, which he had insisted be stripped of any red-and-gold decorations. The staff had gone a step further and--he had no idea how they'd pulled this off--redecorated in a blue and white Water Tribe style. Sokka suspected the order to do so had come from Zuko, and as he stared out the window for a sign of Appa, he was grateful. The reminders of home combined with warm air flowing through the window calmed his nerves, and he could hear himself think. 

He thought back on the last few days, and the little things, the little freedoms. The freedom to stand up and walk around wherever he wanted, and keep walking until he felt like stopping. The freedom to see his loved ones whenever he wanted. The freedom to eat whenever he wanted (he felt silly for thinking so highly of this one). 

He thought about his father, making the long trip north to see him, and how he ached to be held by him again. He thought about Katara and Aang, whose wedding he had missed, the nephew whose birth he had missed, the new baby for whose birth he was thankful to be home. Zuko, a friend he’d barely just gotten to know. Toph, his dear, dear friend who he’d known for what was a little more than a year but felt like a million lifetimes. Of every part of the world that had changed from how he’d remembered it, his banter with Toph brought him a tiny, much-needed semblance of normalcy. 

From just the energy in the air, it was clear that this wasn’t the same world anymore. It hadn’t been long enough for Sokka to see any tangible changes (other than the fact that the war was over), but he knew. People walked with lightness in their steps, with aspirations in their hearts, and had dreams that weren’t nightmares. They were  _ free _ . This, more than anything else, filled Sokka with earth-shattering pride. It had all been worth it. 

And of course, he thought about his wife. Yue.  _ Chief _ Yue, he corrected himself in his head. He had thought of her, longed for her, prayed for her safety and happiness every day during his captivity. He’d wondered if she knew he was alive, and on some days, had hoped she didn’t; the thought of her alone and waiting for him had been too much to bear. Over the years, he’d forgotten the smell of her body, the feel of her skin, and worst of all, the sweet, delicate sound of her voice. Yue’s voice...the greatest symphony in the world. 

A loud clattering sound came from outside and Sokka jolted back to attention, looking out into the sky. Nothing was there. 

Anxiously, he drummed his fingers against the windowpane and considered passing the time by writing to Yue...but he didn’t know what he would write. 

The truth was--and he wasn’t surprised by this, just deeply, deeply sad--his relationship with his wife had changed with the world around it. If he spoke this aloud to Katara or anyone else, he knew they’d tell him to give it time, that it was unfair to make such a strong statement after only a few days. They’d been young when they’d gotten married, but Sokka hadn’t done it on a whim. From the moment he’d met Yue until the moment when he’d been captured, the energy between them had been unmistakable, like they were connected by unseen, golden, tightly-woven threads vibrating with strength and joy. And he had been devastated to come home and find those threads not weaker, not vibrating less, but just... _ gone. _

He knew Yue was trying her best. So was he, and so he would continue to, and that was all either of them could do. Looking up at the tiny flecks of dawn breaching the night sky, Sokka prayed to the moon and the ocean that their efforts would bring back the bond they'd once shared. 

\---

They came back to the palace in the late morning, battle-worn but victorious, and after a long siesta, the four of them headed back to the Northern Water Tribe on Appa. 

Thrilled that they had won and that his strategizing had worked, Sokka demanded a full-fledged retelling of the previous night's events, but was disappointed to find that all three of them were absolute garbage storytellers. Grumbling about how he missed Toph, he slumped against the rim of Appa's saddle and glared glumly out at the ocean until the glacier shore came into view. 

Sokka marveled at the glorious Northern Wall and the beautiful city it protected--it was another kind of majestic from this height. As they approached, a figure on the wall caught his eye, and when he looked closer, his eyes shot wide. 

_ Yue. _

Waiting for them, alone on the wall, with his wheelchair next to her, coming closer and closer into view. She'd come to see them arrive. To see him come home. Was this a sign that his prayers were being answered? Sokka's face broke out in a huge smile as he took in the sight of her, in her periwinkle coat, intricate braid rolling down her back, hands clasped in front of her, and…

Pure, undeniable  _ relief _ painted every angle of her face. Sokka's heart fluttered. 

They landed and, to Sokka's annoyance, he needed help disembarking Appa's saddle and getting to his wife. He leaned heavily on Aang, but his eyes stayed fixed on Yue's smile and her eyes that twinkled like moonlight. 

"Hi, Chief," he said, reaching out to her with his free hand. 

"Don't ever do that to me again," Yue murmured just for him, and Aang had the decency to look away as he helped him into his wheelchair. 

"I'll make it up to you," Sokka promised. "Maybe we can...do an activity together?" 

Yue giggled, though she looked thoroughly surprised underneath it. Sokka grinned. Mission accomplished. 

"Yes, I'd like that." 

The threads connecting them were still missing, but upon seeing the smile she was giving him, Sokka started to hope that maybe they could find a way to weave them again. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading and sorry it took so long to update! I hope it's a fun read for everyone :) More to come very soon.


	5. Crest

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A lot happens at the Summer Solstice festival.

Every year, the Northern Water Tribe made a grand pomp and circumstance for the summer solstice. Though the winter solstice was the more esteemed and sacred of the two, a celebration during wintertime was impossible at the North Pole; the yearly orbit of the Earth around the sun caused the pole to be shrouded in darkness during winter. Summer, on the other hand, brought with it the glorious midnight sun--bright, twinkling sunlight twenty-four hours a day, and the Tribe took full advantage by making the biggest deal they possibly could out of the summer solstice. The entire week leading up to the festival was packed with preparation and excitement all over the city. Vendors created their most extravagant decorations and their most luxurious foods, everyone put together their best attire, and townspeople chatted and gossipped about who was bringing whom to the party. 

Sokka had only ever experienced the festival once before the war had called him away from the North Pole, and he'd been too busy being mesmerized by Yue's bright smile that he hadn't noticed much about the celebration at all. 

Yue _loved_ the summer solstice. Sokka knew that growing up, she'd looked forward to the festival every year. The fancy dresses, the food, the decorations, the performances, and the happy faces of her people all around her--everything together made it her favorite day of the year. And it had showed. They'd walked around the town square and through the streets together, and Yue had looked feather-light, almost but not quite free of the burdens of duty and leadership on her shoulders. The whole night, Sokka's heart had threatened to burst out of his chest, and at the end of the night, when he could no longer stand it, he'd dropped to one knee and asked her to be his wife, the entire Tribe and the light of the midnight sun bearing witness to his love. 

He couldn't believe it had been seven years since that day. How life had changed. Then, when they had walked the town side-by-side, the people had greeted them jovially, with cheers, sometimes--if they were really cheeky--whistles and hoots, which had made Yue blush a tantalizing red. Now, when they'd walked (well, when she walked and he was wheeled) the town in the week leading up to today, they were met with whispers and respectfully distant nods and bows. 

During the war, Sokka had never been much of a party guy. His one Northern summer solstice had been the extent of his partying experience. The war-torn and devastated South Pole couldn't quite be called a party ground while he was growing up, and when the gang had been traveling, Sokka could scarcely pull himself away from their goal for any type of leisure. 

Which was why he wasn't too sure how to feel about today. 

The war was over, and he was free. The worries that had unrelentingly plagued his mind were now missing, with nothing to fill the void they had left. Lying on the infirmary bed as his healer worked on him, Sokka wondered--would he, like Yue, love the summer solstice festival? Would he, like Aang, find the highest joy in the simplest recreation? Would he be like Zuko, awkward and (as far as he could tell) still unsure how to have fun? 

“How does that feel?” the healer asked him. Sokka moved his limbs and twisted his body in response, feeling his muscles. The aches had faded from sharp twinges of pain to a dull, barely-there soreness.

“Pretty good.” _Only eight more sessions_ , he thought, and then came his final introspection--would he forever be burdened with worries about the next task at hand, the next big goal, the next disaster waiting to happen? 

“Wonderful!” The healer looked genuinely happy for him, which made Sokka smile. “Try to get some walking in every day, but don’t overexert yourself.” 

“Yeah, yeah,” said Sokka, rolling his eyes. The healer laughed. 

He left the healing hut and ran into Katara, who looked distinctly uncomfortable, cradling her bulging belly.

“You look like you just got hit by a stink bomb,” said Sokka. 

Katara scowled. “Thanks.”

“No problem,” he quipped back. "What were you doing here?"

They headed back towards the palace. Lanterns dangled outside every building that they passed on their way. The town square was in the opposite direction, but Sokka knew the lantern decorations would be something to behold.

"Baby checkup. She's due next week, and I feel like an arctic hippo," Katara complained. 

"Are you gonna skip out on tonight?" 

"No!" She looked scandalized, which made Sokka laugh. 

"Were you here every year?" It felt odd to ask. "Catching up" in general was always accompanied by an unsettling feeling--how could they "catch up" under these circumstances? 

"Yes," said Katara, and in her voice Sokka heard that she felt the same unease. "I had to be. Actually, I'd want to be even if I didn't. It's beautiful." 

"I bet." Sokka wanted to know more. He wanted to ask for every last minute detail of the past five years. 

"Dad's ship should be docking any minute," said Katara. 

"Yeah," Sokka whispered. Katara looked at him. 

"Nervous?" she guessed. 

"What? No, no. I'm good. I'm cool. I'm great!" _Yikes_. He cringed inwardly. 

"You know, he and Yue write to each other all the time," said Katara. 

Something about the way she said it made Sokka's nerves start to uncoil, like she knew exactly how he was feeling and exactly what he needed to hear. "Yeah?" he prompted her. 

With that, Katara gave him a little knowing smile and continued as they strolled. "After a few months, you were presumed dead. So Dad came up here to be with Yue. He said it was because she needed all the support she could get, but I think it was because he needed it too. And he needed something to do. Being there for Yue kept him busy. They got really close. We all did, actually. She's like--she's my sister now." 

Sokka listened to the cadence of her voice, the rise and fall of her words, like it was a peaceful lullaby. The picture she was painting in his head made his heart clench in beautiful and horrible ways. 

They had passed their destination--the palace--driven by an unspoken need to keep walking, to keep talking. 

"How often are you here?" Sokka asked. 

"We visit every other month. We're all really busy building Republic City, but Aang and I are lucky to have Appa, so we can get pretty much anywhere really quickly." 

There was an air of urgency around Katara, like she needed to share these things with him. He could sense her hesitation too, to ask him questions. Questions he wasn't sure he could answer. 

"Maybe Yue and I could visit Republic City soon," Sokka mused. It would be nice to see how the rest of the world had changed, and there would certainly be a lot of work to get done. 

"Sokka, you need to make sure you--"

"Heal up, yeah, I know," he grumbled. 

“Though you seem to be healing pretty fast,” she noted. “I didn’t even know you were walking this much. I usually see you in a wheelchair.”

“I’m supposed to do some walking every day,” Sokka said. It wasn’t a lie, exactly. The healers had recommended he walk every day. They just hadn’t specified exactly _how much_ he should be walking, and he didn’t intend to clarify. 

"Sokka--"

"Can we just talk about something else?"

Katara clearly wanted to press the issue, but Sokka determinedly did not meet her eyes, and she seemed to let it go. Though Sokka knew his sister well enough to know that she was just saving it for later.

"Do you know what you're gonna wear tonight?" she asked instead. "I've been planning it for weeks. Toph is always the best dressed at these, though. No one knows how."

"I don't know...I wasn't really thinking about it." He frowned, worried. 

"Well, I could help you," Katara offered. 

Sokka looked down at her, and she looked so sincere, it made his heart warm. "Hmm," he said, pretending to think about it, just to see her affronted reaction. "I don't know. Sounds like I should be asking for Toph's help."

"Ugh," said Katara. "Fine. Guess I won't."

Laughing, he threw his arm over her shoulders. "Sure, let's figure out what I'm wearing. I want to look like Sokka, the Chief's husband, not like Sokka, the war prisoner." 

Katara may have wanted to admonish him for his joke, but he appreciated that she just laughed with him and said, "You got it."

\---

As Yue watched the people dancing in the palace courtyard from her balcony, her heart swelled with excitement. The gates were open, extending the party to the broad, ice-covered, glamorously-decorated street outside, which was lined with stalls of food and goods both local and imported--a nice effect of five years of treaties and trade deals. The sunlight positively _twinkled_. Every summer, the tribespeople decorated the city with thousands of intricate little ice sculptures that reflected the sunlight in such a way that, from a certain vantage point, it looked like little fairy lights were always floating in the air. 

This day, her most favorite holiday, had fractured five years ago, when she'd lost Sokka. That day had been a day of grieving with Katara and Hakoda--but her people had not lost their husband. Her people had just won a hundred-year war, and were breathing freedom in the air, so she'd done her duty proudly and separated the grief from the celebration. Every solstice since that one had been about the same, full of hearty festivities with the tribespeople and nightmares of Sokka on bended knee, asking her to marry him. Katara's and Hakoda's presence always brought her some comfort, but she had indulged herself the past two years by taking special comfort in the arms of a certain Fire Lord. 

She watched the tribespeople in the courtyard and was reminded of last year and how she'd danced with Zuko, polite and chaste, avoiding each other's eyes and saying nothing, but both of them excruciatingly aware of the charged energy between them. 

"Chief Yue?" Her handmaiden's light voice pulled her out of her shame. 

"Yes, Mira?" 

"Um, I was asking which pins you want?" 

Yue properly looked at her handmaiden, who she realized was standing in her bedroom and holding two sets of hair pins in front of her, presumably for Yue to choose from. 

"I'm sorry, I lost myself for a moment," said Yue, stepping forward. 

"That's okay, Chief Yue," said Mira. "These ones go really nicely with your dress." She held out silvery pins with white jewels embedded into them that would certainly sparkle in the sunlight. They definitely caught Yue's eye. She would never say it out loud, but ever since Toph had started attending the solstice festival, Yue had secretly aimed to outdress her. It wasn't anything _major_ , just a _tiny_ passing thought. At least, that was what she told herself. But today…

"Is there anything that was a gift from Sokka?" Yue asked, looking away from the glittery pins. 

"Um, let me see…" Mira turned away, rummaging through Yue's many jewelry drawers. Finally, she emerged with a small, dusty, nondescript wooden box. Yue held her breath. 

Mira opened the box, and inside were two, small, indigo hair pins. They were much less extravagant than her other jewelry, but the sight of them almost brought tears to her eyes. 

A moment of silence passed between them as Yue stared at the precious gift. 

"We'll use these ones, then," said Mira gently. 

Yue met her eyes and allowed herself the vulnerability for a fraction of a second, before resuming her chiefly demeanor and nodding. 

"Thank you, Mira."

\---

Sokka sat in his wheelchair in the shade and watched the festivities. He'd been in town all day, enjoying the merriment with his father and Katara, but now Katara was off dancing with Aang somewhere, and his father was mingling with the Northern politicians. Suki, he'd been surprised to know, had also sailed up with the Southerners, and was presumably partaking in the celebrations with their friends. 

His tunic felt too big on him. Northern fashion was glittery and flashy, with patterned or beaded fabrics and shiny jewelry. At first, Katara had presented him with options like those, which he'd vehemently rejected. Instead, he'd opted for a traditional, _Southern_ look, a fibrous, quilted tunic adorned with white fur and geometric patches. Which felt too big on him. He had spent the whole evening hyper-aware of the fabric's billowy feel and the ample space between his skin and his clothing--so much so that two hours ago, he had excused himself from mingling to "rest." 

It was partially true; he felt the aches of his body now that he was finally seated in his wheelchair. Toph accompanied him. Katara hadn't exaggerated--she looked amazing. Usually in a simple bun, Toph's hair had been braided into an elaborate updo with green ribbons, and she was wearing a flowy dress with pale green-and-blue embroidery across its silky fabric. In the last five years, Sokka noticed, she'd lost the baby fat in her face, and she'd grown to have a delicate-looking jawline and cheekbones to match, though he knew she was anything but delicate. 

"I can tell you're staring at me," she said. 

"Yeah," said Sokka. "You look fantastic. You look like an actual woman now." _Oops_. He cringed. 

"Thanks," said Toph dryly. 

"Sorry! No, I meant, I meant you look, you know, good. Like a person." _Like a person?!_

"What did I look like before, a gopher-bear?" 

"No, no, that's not what I--" 

"Hey, Zuko," said Toph, and Sokka whirled around in his chair, limbs flailing. 

Zuko was standing behind them, hovering awkwardly like he wanted to sit down, but didn't know how to ask. 

"Whoa," Sokka breathed. 

If Katara had thought Toph would be the best dressed tonight, she was sorely mistaken.

Zuko looked like a king from an epic tale. His black-and-red robes rested gently over his body and were adorned with shiny, golden metalwork. His hair was half-down, half-up in traditional Fire Lord style, his crown tucked into his topknot. The late-night sunlight seemed to make his golden eyes sparkle like a fine whiskey, and Sokka’s mouth went dry when he realized how _Zuko_ had grown. 

Seeing Toph’s transformation from a badass child into a badass, and admittedly attractive, grown woman had reminded Sokka of how much time had passed since he’d last seen the gang. 

Seeing _Zuko’s_ transformation, on the other hand...Sokka couldn’t explain why he suddenly found himself speechless, struggling to formulate coherent thought before the sharpness of Zuko’s jaw, the slender but still muscular outline of his body, the gentle swaying of his black hair in the breeze. 

“Hi Toph,” he said. Sokka was grateful that he didn’t look at him. 

Toph stamped her foot and a stumpy, crude chair rose from the earth behind Zuko, who sat quite gracefully for someone whose expression suggested that he had splinters in his ass. Sokka cleared his throat. 

“So uh, how’s Firelording? That going okay?” 

“What?” said Zuko. 

“Nevermind. Do you want to dance, Toph?” He scrambled to his feet and held out his hand. 

“Uh--”

“Great!” He grabbed her hand and--he wouldn’t use the word _dragged_ , more like _gently guided_ \--her to the dance floor. 

“Wha--Sokka--can you just--what are you doing?!” 

“Sorry,” he said hastily. The feeling that had suddenly possessed him still loomed over his head, so he kept his eyes trained firmly away from Zuko. “Um, we don’t have to dance if you don’t want to.” Looking around, he saw that he had led them to the middle of the courtyard, and tribespeople were dancing all around them. Awkwardly, he laughed and scratched the back of his neck. 

“Well, we’re here now, dunderhead.” She grabbed his hand and shoulder a little roughly, but when she danced, her steps were elegant and refined, indicative of her noble upbringing. Under other circumstances, he might have noticed and paid her a compliment. 

Sokka’s, on the other hand, were ungainly and fumbling, but he barely realized that she was leading entirely. His thoughts felt scattered, like snowflakes in a storm. 

“What?” she said aggressively, snapping him out of his thoughts. 

“Huh? What?” he said, whipping his attention back to her. She looked grumpy, as usual, and somehow, it grounded him. 

“Tell me why you’re being weird,” she demanded. 

He sighed, shoulders slumping. “I don’t know,” he confessed. “I think I’m just...nervous.” He didn’t dare look back at Zuko, terrified of feeling _that way_ again. 

“About?” 

Sokka considered the question. He certainly did feel jittery in his core, like the ice was about to crack under his feet. "I'm...I think…" He lowered his voice. "I think things are off with Yue."

Saying it out loud released some of the tension in his nerves, but not quite enough. Sokka still chewed his bottom lip anxiously at the thought. 

"Hm," said Toph. 

He raised an eyebrow. "'Hm?' What's 'hm' mean?" 

Toph shrugged. "How's your body?" 

"Oh, uh...fine. I mean," he hesitated, a little jarred by her change of subject and a little reluctant to talk about it, "I'm not supposed to actually be on my feet this much. Don't tell anyone."

"Yeah, no kidding." She smirked. "I didn't ask what the healers said. How are _you_ feeling?"

"Oh." He thought about it, perhaps for the first time. "I'm fine. I'm...here." The words were existential, but his voice was filled with warmth. After so many years, there was no joy like being _here_. 

Toph seemed to get it. "Just remember that and all the other stuff will work itself out." She punched his arm--lightly, which was very considerate for Toph. 

Sokka laughed, the weight lifting from his shoulders. "Thanks, Toph."

"Well, Snoozles," said Toph, as the song ended and she stepped back. "You got a chance to work itself out." 

Confused, Sokka looked around. 

From the western wing of the palace, looking so glorious she seemed to be glowing, came Yue, her father at her side and the leader of the Northern High Guard behind her. Sokka's heart fluttered. Any trace of the strange swooping sensation he'd felt upon seeing Zuko was forgotten. 

Mutely, it occurred to Sokka that he should have been on her other side, and he wondered why he wasn't, but he would shelve those thoughts for later. For now, he could not take his eyes off his wife. 

\---

It was the _oohs_ and _ahhs_ that caught Zuko's attention. He knew before he looked what he would see, and his stomach dropped in apprehension. And of course, there was the beautiful and ethereal Chief of the Northern Water Tribe, waving and smiling, greeting her people personally as she arrived at the party. Bitterly, Zuko turned away. She was going to walk by him without so much as a glance in his direction anyway, so why bother? With a scowl, he cast his gaze around for a drink on a tray somewhere. 

"Fire Lord Zuko." 

The sweetness of her voice stabbed his insides, and it took the strength of all his villainous ancestors to face her. Soft features, glowing brown skin, and ocean blue eyes nearly blinded him. 

"Chief Yue," he replied reflexively, years of royal training clicking into gear. 

A ghost of a smile, and then she moved on. He screamed internally. 

Frozen in place, Zuko watched Sokka approach his wife with hearts in his eyes, bow with a flourish and a twinkly smile, and hold out his hand. A fire erupted in his gut, and a sudden urge to punch Sokka overtook him. _She was mine._

With every bit of strength he could muster, Zuko forced his body to turn away from the couple. Across the square, he spotted Suki, in a heavy green coat, snacking at a table with Katara, and stalked towards them. 

"Hey," he said shortly. 

"Hi, Zuko," said Katara. Suki drew up a chair for him, and he slumped into it. 

They were used to his default sour mood, which should have come as a comfort, but in this moment, absolutely did not. 

A few moments of silence passed, then Zuko, staring at the ground, said, "I wish Mai were here."

“She never comes to these things,” said Katara. 

“Yeah,” he replied. “Probably wouldn’t have made me feel better anyway.” 

“Why?” said Katara. “What’s wrong?”

He didn't look up to see it, but he knew Suki shot him a sideways glance. 

“Moody about the trade deals, Zuko?” she chimed in. 

Without a word, he grit his teeth and nodded. He knew Katara was eyeing them, but his vision was red. If he opened his mouth now, he would definitely say something Yue would make him regret later. 

“Would you like to dance?” said Suki. He’d bet Katara didn’t hear the pointedness in her tone. Suki was a stealthy warrior, on the battlefield and in personal matters. He nodded again and stood.

When Zuko had left the Fire Nation to capture the Avatar so many years ago, he would have never imagined his journey would lead him to a new family. Their little group gave him more love and safety than he'd experienced in all his years of life before meeting them, and he would be grateful for them until he died. 

But two friends in particular were his unsung heroes, his protectors, his confidants, and they were Suki and Mai. 

Mai, his friend from childhood, a girl who had always understood and even liked him in a way no one had since he lost his mother. After the war, they had pursued a brief but sweet relationship, until she'd confessed to him her interest in women rather than men. They called it off amicably, Zuko kept her secret, and they stayed fast friends out of their deep care and affection for each other. 

Judging by his first encounter with Suki, when he'd burned down her village on Kyoshi Island, it was a miracle that she even tolerated his presence, much less enjoyed his company. Ever since the Kyoshi Warriors had become residents of the Fire Nation, tasked with protecting him, Zuko had found himself spending a lot of time with Suki. He discovered that she was as kind as she was fierce, as fun as she was sharp, and over the years, they had struck a friendship where they both shared everything with each other. 

Which created a situation where Mai and Suki were the only people in the world who knew about his relationship with Chief Yue. 

He led Suki to the dance floor, and once they were out of earshot of Katara, Suki hissed, "Be careful with what you say." 

All his instincts told him not to, but Zuko looked over his shoulder. They were still dancing, and Yue was laughing, apparently at something Sokka had said. His blood boiled. Sokka was her husband, but five years had passed. Yue was a different woman now, and he didn't know her like Zuko did. He didn't know the feel of her body, the sounds of pleasure that came from the back of her throat. He didn't know what she _liked_. And the thought of him discovering it now, getting to _know_ her intimately...

"Zuko." Sharply, Suki drew his attention back, and he realized he'd stopped dancing, and his fist was clenched by his side. 

"Sorry." He let out a breath. 

"I take it she ended it," Suki said in a low voice. She squeezed his shoulder. 

"You don't sound surprised," he said dully. 

"Are you?" 

"No. I guess not." 

"Maybe you can end your stay early," she suggested. "You can write to the Fire Court. I can talk to them when I get back."

"No," he snapped. "There's too much important work to be done." 

"There's no need to be short with me," she said. The song ended, and she stepped back. 

Zuko sighed. "I'm sorry," he said. In truth, he didn't want to give Yue the satisfaction of seeing him cave in to his heartbreak and leave the North Pole before their work was done. Yue's ability to separate her personal life from her work was downright scary, and Zuko knew she would deem him weak if he were to show that he couldn't do the same. Walking into meetings with her every day was like walking barefoot onto a floor of hot coals, but he would rather literally walk barefoot on hot coals than endure that judgment from Yue. 

"It's okay," said Suki. "I'll just extend my stay here, in that case." 

"You don't have to do that for me," he said instantly. 

Suki just smiled and shook her head. "Would you like another dance?" 

"Actually," the sweet voice sent a burning chill down Zuko's back, "can I cut in?" 

He turned. Any person at this party (even Suki and Katara, he surmised) would look at Yue in this moment and say with certainty that she was requesting a dance out of political professionalism. To that, Zuko would say that they didn't know Yue. 

Zuko saw the shift behind her eyes, saw that she ached for him, too. His brain fired billions of signals against his skull, like it had suddenly learned how to bend lightning. 

"Sure," said Suki warmly, all traces of concern gone. Zuko couldn't be exactly sure how Yue would react if he were to inform her that he'd confided in Mai and Suki about their relationship, but he knew for certain that he would rather not find out. Smooth and stealthy as ever, Suki smiled and headed off, and Zuko took a step toward Yue. 

There had been a time when he'd look into Yue's eyes and the world would melt away. Now, he was hyper-aware of his own throbbing pulse, the tightness in his jaw, and his ever-growing anger. He imagined grabbing her, pulling her flush against his body, and kissing her amidst the gasps and whispers of the crowd around them. He settled for one hand in hers and the other on her waist, which he must have gripped a little harder than he'd intended, judging by her slight intake of breath. 

"Lord Zuko," she murmured. "I didn't know if you would come tonight."

"Of course I did," he shot back. "How would it look if the Fire Lord didn't attend the Summer Solstice festival during his stay at the North Pole?" 

She was quiet for a moment, then, "You look good." 

Zuko's heart stopped. The daintiness of the words in her mouth scraped his skin and raised the hairs on the back of his neck. She looked at him through her eyelashes, heat behind the coolness of her blue eyes. 

He was _done for_. 

\---

It would be nice if she could say she didn't know how they'd gotten here. If she could say it was a blur, that they'd gotten caught up in the moment. But Yue was a woman who owned her actions, and though she regretted her choices, she had consciously made each and every one that had led them here. 

The second she’d entered her bedroom--five exact minutes after Zuko had--and shut the door behind her, he’d pushed her back against the door and kissed her fervently. She’d kissed back, just as desperately. 

Party sounds from the courtyard they had abandoned floated up through her windows. _Irresponsible_. 

Zuko kissed her neck; she sighed and her eyes drifted shut. She clutched the back of his robes, holding onto him for dear life, speaking her thoughts with her hands. _I missed you_. He seemed to reciprocate, by the way he gripped her waist and maneuvered her into her bed. 

A thousand times they’d done this, never without a taste of guilt. After their first time, Yue had dissolved into hours of tears, ashamed and nauseated and full of thoughts of her lost husband. Then, it became more frequent, and--she couldn’t believe it-- _fun_. Zuko learned her body inside out, what made her shiver in pleasure, what made her moan in ecstasy, what made her laugh and smile with affection. They spent many a night rolling around under her blankets, giggling like teenage, star-crossed lovers. 

This night, they held each other tightly, both fearful that if they let go, the other would disappear into nothingness, Zuko on top of her, then _inside_ her. It was passionate, yearning, _familiar_. And that, ultimately, was why she was here. The uncertainty of spending nights next to a man she had once known had finally overwhelmed her, and she'd had her worst lapse in judgement yet. She pressed her face into his neck and moaned her release; she felt him shudder and sigh her name when he finished. 

"Oh Zuko," she whispered. 

"I know," he said into her hair. 

"Zuko…" and her heart broke before she said the words, "I think you should leave early." 

The statement hung in the air for a moment, and then Zuko sat up, scooting away from her. 

"What?" he said, staring at her. 

But he wasn't angry, she realized, not like last time. He looked shocked, like she had said something out of the ordinary. 

"I just... I don't think I can do this. I _can't_ do this," she corrected herself. "It's a bad idea to keep doing business as usual. This will only get in our way."

For a long time, Zuko was quiet, considering. Yue opened her mouth to inquire into his thoughts, but she was interrupted by a sudden commotion from outside. 

They both looked around at the windows, from which they could hear sounds of shouting and urgent orders being thrown around. 

"Inside! Get her inside!" someone cried out. 

At once, they leapt out of the bed, dressed hurriedly--Yue fixed her hair and any smudges of makeup and grabbed a thick coat to cover any wrinkles in her dress--and rushed outside. Always ten paces ahead of Zuko, Yue arrived on the courtyard first to complete pandemonium. 

"What's happening?" She swerved and sidestepped through the crowd in search of Katara, or her father, but they were nowhere to be found. 

"There you are!" A hand closed around her elbow and pulled her around; when she caught her balance, she found herself looking up into Sokka's face. 

Waves of emotion rolled over her heart--guilt, heartbreak, disgust with herself, but at the forefront of it all, _confusion_ , for Sokka was beaming down at her, positively flushed with joy. 

"What--what happened?" she repeated. 

"It's Katara," he said. "She's having the baby."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love me a good party scene! I wish I could draw out all the outfits I had in my head while I was writing this. 
> 
> And is that Sokka thinking Zuko is hot? o.O hmm...
> 
> Thanks for reading!


End file.
